Blast-Off Minus 5 Days

I, Byron Barnett, might like to be a movie reviewer on the side.

I could do it in my spare time, on weekends and such, even in the future when I’m CEO of Galactic Snacking Solutions Incorporated. It would be a juggling of responsibilities, but I’m sure I could make it work.

Actually I could practice fitting it all into my schedule while I’m being GaSnakSo’s Snacks Ambassador up on the Moon starting next week.

I could do my ambassadoring after school during the week and my reviewing of movies on the weekend.

Except now I’m suddenly realizing: DO THEY EVEN SHOW MOVIES ON THE MOON ?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?

Yes, you can always watch a movie on your telescreen, but what I’m asking is, do they have a cinema where they project movies onto a silver screen, the way that motion pictures were meant to be watched   ?   ?  ?  ?  ?  ?  !!  ?  ?  ?  ?  ?  ?  ?  ?  ?  ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????!

I don’t recall reading anything about it in the relocation packet.

If they don’t have a real cinema, I’ll have to speak to the Governor about that immediately.

I don’t want to catastrophize (that’s a habit of José Ignacio’s that I refuse to pick up), but if they don’t show movies the right way on the Moon, our very space-based culture is at stake. We might as well open a portal into the Third Deadly Realm and invite hordes of space-vermin to come gobble us up.

I’m wondering by the way if we can get some major movie stars up to the Moon for a lecture series?

Maybe I could start the First Annual Lunar Film Festival. I could be its Founder and Chief Creative Officer.

That way we’d definitely get all the best new releases for screenings on the Moon and we could attract big names from the acting biz to come up for Red Carpet Events and whatnot. 

Maybe for a Moon-themed movie we could even get the movie studio to let us give it its premiere in Cosmopolis.

(“Its” premiere or “it’s” premiere? I tend to get my itses mixed up. Let me consult my dictionary …
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… okay, I was right. It’s “its.” Its premiere.)

Anyhow, I wouldn’t mind being the first to see “Panda Bear Uprising Part 9,” which I hear has scenes in space, if not exactly on a lunar footing.

The first “Panda Bear Uprising” was of course the best in the series, though “Uprisings” Three and Four were quite watchable. Five and Six were okay, Seven was a dud, but then they got the director back who did One and Four, so I have high hopes for Nine.

Also as Head Of Festival I could bring in a large number of spine-chillers, my favorite of the cinematic genres. Preferably spine-chillers with off-Earth plotlines. Like “Dracula On Mars.”

But even if a Lunar Film Festival doesn’t work out, I’d still consider being a movie reviewer. I have some things to say about the state of the current cinema that I think people will want to read.

More soon,
Boon

P.S. Here’s a poster I made, to further illuminate my concept: