Blast-Off Minus 11 Days

I, Byron Barnett, am writing an article on the Ninth Dimension.

It’s the most fascinating of the dimensions.

I’d like the article to come out in the next edition of “Physics & Phantoms.” That’s a magazine I like that’s all about matter, energy, and ghosts.

It only comes out quarterly (which means four times a year), so I’ll already be up on the Moon by the time the next edition is available for purchase. But I saw in the relocation packet where they have a library, a bookshop, and a newsstand up in Cosmopolis. So I could sign copies of the article and/or the cover of the magazine at those venues.

I haven’t written to “Physics & Phantoms” yet to tell the editor-in-chief about my upcoming submission, but I’m sure she’ll say yes. Who knows the Ninth Dimension like I do?

Nobody.

She might even want to publish a whole series on all the other dimensions, specifically One through Eight, after my article on the Ninth comes out and she gets a big reader reaction. 

(I rarely go to the other dimensions anymore except for the Seventh, since that’s the way into the Eleven Deadly Realms. But I could make an exception if my editor insists.)

Also the Ninth is the most dangerous dimension by far. It’s where I got the Golden Eyeball. So now I’m the Keeper of the Golden Eyeball. That’s a story for another day.

The most interesting thing about the Ninth Dimension is how the laws of physics are somewhat different there. Gravity and electromagnetism and time and such. Just the kind of thing that “Physics & Phantoms” likes to keep their readers informed about.

I know some people think I shouldn’t be risking life and limb by going into the Ninth at all.

But remember what Albert Einstein said: 

Life is like riding your bike, if you don’t keep pedaling you’ll fall over. 

Albert Einstein was one of the smartest human beings ever born. He came up with that famous equation:

E = mc2

It means “energy” equals “mass” times the speed of light squared. (“c” stands for the speed of light.)

It’s all about the relationship between energy and mass. It’s highly elegant the way Albert sums it all up. (May I call him Albert?)

He leaves out ghosts of course, but nobody’s perfect.

Too bad he’s not still alive. I could’ve taken him into the Ninth for a research trip.

Bear in mind that E = mc2  doesn’t work in the Ninth. So Albert would’ve had to come up with a new equation to make sense of things on the interdimensional level. He enjoyed brain-twisters though—he probably would’ve found it quite a treat. 

Did I mention that things also look different in other dimensions? For instance, here’s how the Moon looks in the Ninth:

And here’s a side-by-side of Albert in our dimension and in the Ninth. (I asked Taji to help with this one. It only took him a couple minutes at his workstation with me describing it.)

Albert looks kinda kooky in my artist’s conception of him in the Ninth, but he looked fairly kooky even here.

And yes, the rumors are true: I almost got burnt to a crisp last time I went to the Ninth because that solar storm flared up out of nowhere. I took a snapshot with the flames nipping at my heels:

But I got out just in time. I usually do.

More soon,
Boon